Bon Noël ?

"Tis the season to be jolly, falalalalala. I love this time of year. Of course, who couldn't; making everything look festive, baking cookies, presents, snow, catchy songs... But there's also several things that bug me about the Christmas season.

One, I don't understand all the Christmas songs that involve people falling in love on Christmas Eve. For me, Christmas is about spending time with my family, and while I understand that I'm also 14 and can't drive or go to bars, I can't imagine why people would want to be out of their house on Christmas Eve, unless they lived very far away from their parents and going home is expensive and inconvenient. But I wish there were less Christmas songs about falling in love. I mean, I understand that Christmas is a magical time of year, and emotions are high, but in reality, it's not going to happen and it's kind of cruel of the media to project this image that you'll find your true love around the Christmas season.

Two, why schools can't call it "Christmas vacation," but they can have "Secret Santa" parties and sing Christmas carols for choir lessons. I think it's a little bit hypocritial of them. And really, why is it necessary to go to so much precaution to avoid "offending" people who don't celebrate Christmas. If anything, I would think that they wouldn't mind having two freebie weeks off for no special purpose. And a lot of people I know who aren't Christian celebrate Christmas. I just don't see what all the fuss is about.

Three, Minnesota winters. I love snow at first, when it's falling and it looks beautiful. But after Christmas, I would like it to disappear. It doesn't look pretty anymore; it looks like dog crap, from all the grit and dirt that defiles it. It gets bitterly cold, and it's just cold and ugly outside. My least favorite months are mid-January to March. I don't really know how it pertains to Christmas, but my weird little mind makes a connection and therefore so should yours.

Ahh well. There's more good then bad anyways. Happy Holidays, everyone.
Cheers,
X

Je le veux...

How long does it usually take to get over someone? Like seriously. I swear to gawd I'm over him and then I hear a song that reminds me of him and BAM!, I miss him all over again.

Some song lyrics that describe me right now:

Do you want me, like I want you? - Jewel, Standing Still

Everytime I've figured out, or found a way to live without, you come around and everything's all wrong... - Graham Colton, You Find A Way

Only dreaming that you're missing me... - Basshunter, Now You're Gone

It's always times like these when I think of you and I wonder if you ever think of me. - Vanessa Carlton, A Thousand Miles

Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you over again... - Secondhand Serenade, Fall For You

I wanna take you back, back to where we started, before the lights had changed... - Graham Colton, Take You Back

But you, you're always on my mind, it's like this all the time... - Jewel, Again and Again

One more night, I wanna be with you... - Cascada, One More Night

With you, I'd withstand all of hell to hold your hand... - Nickelback, Far Away

I'm here without you, baby, but you're still on my lonely mind. - 3 Doors Down, Here Without You

I can't hold onto you, so I guess I'll be lonely too. - Secondhand Serenade, Suppose

I'd do anything, just to hold you in my arms, try to make you laugh, somehow I can't put you in the past. - Simple Plan, I'd Do Anything

I'll do whatever it takes to turn this around. - Lifehouse, Whatever It Takes

There's a lot I will never do, some fantastic I know it's true, but not as much as my want to be with you. - Barenaked Ladies, Some Fantastic

I never thought that I had any more to give, you're pushing me so far, here I am without you. - Gavin Rossdale, Love Remains The Same

Nothing tastes as sweet as what I can't have. - Teddy Geiger, For You I Will

Tell me why you're so hard to forget, don't remind me I'm not over it. - David Archuleta, A Little Too Not Over You

Imagine me, trying too hard to put you from my mind. - Christine Daae/Emmy Rossum, Think Of Me

~

I also feel really weird admitting this, but I cut his name in my wrist. Which is just a little screwy. JUST A LITTLE. Great, the last thing I need is feeling super bad for A) cutting, B) liking my ex, and C) liking my ex to a point that I start cutting. Jeez. I am SO MESSED UP.

~

I don't want to like him. He needs to get the fuck out of my head, and stay out for good.

~

So yeah, that just about sums me up right now.
Cheers,
X

Mon profil

Okay, so I was reading my friend Andi's blog, and I realized I totally forgot a profile. Jeez. *whacks self in head*


Name: Laura Jean Henry
Year: 9. Freshie in high school, baby!
Birthday: May 26
Favorite colors: Lilac, baby blue, mint green, silver, black.
About Me:
-I have vicious mood swings. One moment I'll be happy and crazy and another moment I'll be angry and depressed.
-I would rather be blind than deaf because no sound equals no music.
-My favorite songs are those that relate to my life, or have a catchy beat. Some of my current favorites are Just Dance by Lady Gaga, La Lettre by Renan Luce (it's all in French), You Find A Way by Grahan Colton, and The Best Thing by Relient K.
-I'm one of those people who likes a song either before or after it's popular, because I don't like to listen to the radio.
-I like engineering.
-Writing is my calling, it's the only way I know to let out my emotions when people just won't listen.
-I could never be a doctor, human or animal, because I can't stand the sight of wounded animals and I despise most bodily fluids. Except blood. I find blood fascinating.
-My drawing skills are limited to heads (without a model) and still-lifes (with models).
-I compose music, but I don't think I'm that good. I'm working on a piece to one of Lauren's poems, Be My Constellation. http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2507667/1/Be_My_Constellation. I recommend her stuff, it's great.
-I adore my friends. I can't stress this enough.
-I love the French language; it's so exotic and beautiful.
-I'm fine with the way I look, but sometimes I wish I was supermodel-pretty, without the skinny, airbrushed look.
-I hate that I have so much hair. It took the professionals about an hour and a half to straighten it... and it curled up again the next day. Even getting it thinned doesn't help. I would never color it though, I like my color. It's like, butterscotch-y.
-One of my guilty pleasures is GL magazine. Another is the Backstreet Boys.
-I don't like TV... but I'll make an exception for Greek. It's a fun show.
-I talk a lot. Could you tell? :]
-I value causal chatting and normal stuff in a relationship as much as I value deep talks and physical contact. I think it's adorable when two people still flirt with each other even if they're already dating.
-I don't believe in love at first sight. I think it's a bag of bullshit.
-I'm majorly superstitious, except for the number 13.
-I can read tarot cards.
-I play piano, alto saxophone, tenor saxophone, and some acoustic guitar (but I'm not that good), and I sing.
-I would love to be in a band.
-I procrastinate like hell, and yet I'm terribly impatient. It's kind of ironic.

Wanna know more? Then message me! Or comment. Or something. :]
Cheers,
X

L'amour est difficile....

...Or, "love is difficult," if you don't speak French.

Which it is.

This requires quite a bit of backtracking for those of you who don't know my story well. So in June, I started dating Mitch, who I had liked for ages but didn't mention it since he was dating my friend.
It wasn't a typical summer romance, since both of us went to camps and vacations and whatnot, and whenever I returned from a vacation or camp he would have to leave for one. We saw each other about four times over the summer.

Well... I broke up with him. I don't even remember why I did it. It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time, I guess.

As cliché tends to define my life at times, I started liking him again last night at a mutual friend's birthday party. I hadn't talked to him that much since we broke up, (I mean, we talked and joked around as friends and stuff, but it was always just a little bit...off) but it was actually not awkward last night.

I really, really like him... but I also dumped him. I have no clue how I'm going to go about getting him back, don't even know if it's possible...anyone have suggestions? Without telling me that it's kind of my fault that I'm in this mess?

Love sucks....

I think I might ask him to St. Selgae's, which is like our school's Sadie's/girl's choice dance. You need a date to get in anyway, so if I wanna go I might as well.... >w<

I really wanna tell him this... but I have no idea if or how much I hurt him with the breakup. He didn't really let on much... I just wish that I could take back the breakup... or at least read his mind to see if he still wouldn't mind giving me a chance...

Cheers, (though I'm not very cheery at the moment)
X

Mon Amie ou Non?

Do you have those friends where you love hanging out with them and at the same time you don't? That's how I sometimes feel about a friend of mine, let's call her "Sara" (because I know people who follow my blog know who she is). She's so much fun, and hanging out with her is great.

And at the same time... I don't really connect with her. One of my really really close friends (let's call her "Amanda") knows Sara better than I do, and says that Sara sometimes talks about people behind their backs. But when I question Amanda about it, she says that Sara hasn't said anything about me. And yet...

I don't want to say I don't like her, because I do. But some of my other friends are very close to her and are all, "Sara's so cool, she throws great parties, she said..." and on. During such conversations, I think, "I've never been invited to one of her parties. (Except through offhand "You should come to Sara's" from friends to whom I am closer than her.) She doesn't act like that around me. Why won't she joke like that to me? And the conversation always ends up being somewhat one-sided because I can't really agree, and I can't really disagree, and it's pretty awkward.

So maybe I'm feeling sorry for myself. Maybe I'm being selfish. Maybe she's not my best, best, best friend. But she's so close with all of my other super-close friends... just not me.

She's awesome...but we don't really talk a lot. She only seems to talk to me face-to-face if there's a mutual friend nearby, and then sporadically online.

I want to ask her what she really thinks, and at the same time I don't. I don't want her to think I don't like her. I don't want her to think I'm doubting her credibility as a friend, especially if it's not true. But I do want to know.

Ehh well, I'll find out in due time.

Cheers,
X

Bonjour. Comment ça va?

Hey, all. X here. This blog will contain my honest, brutal opinion of things going on in my life.

You ever have those moments when you want to say something to someone, but can't because it's embarrassing / imprudent / insensitive / flaky / whatever? Since those moments tend to define my life in general, and I end up with my foot in my mouth a lot, this will be my new outlet in an attempt to gain a filter on my brain to sort the stupid things I say from the intelligent ones.

Let's hope this works.

Cheers,
X